Sheltering myself from curiosity....

When I decided to investigate the Church, I told my family and I told some of my closest friends. Many of them seemed to be surprised and few seemed to be appalled. Not very many were encouraging. That didn't really detract me from my quest because I am and always have been a non-conformist of sorts. Now that I have joined, I have told a few people. Obviously, all the Mormon people I go to school with and their spouses and endless amounts of children know. In fact, many of them were at my baptism (even though I hadn't even met some of them in person). However, I find myself being elusive when my friends and family ask me about it. In fact, I haven't even told my parents that I was baptized. They know I was thinking about it but they were a little reluctant. At first, I found that they were really encouraging of my quest; however, as I got more involved and closer to joining, they seemed to withdraw their support in a way. They encouraged me to take my time. "Go for a year and if you still like it, then go ahead." I ignored their advice and I feel bad about that in a way. I mean, I wanted to do it for myself but I also really wanted their support and approval. I went home to visit them over Labor Day Weekend and my new-found Mormonism was the gigantic pink elephant in the room. A few times my dad would make a comment to me about Mormons. If he had made these comments before I joined, I would have listened and responded, yet now when he was making these comments, I found myself getting on the defensive really quickly. I don't really know why because he did not say anything offensive. I guess I was just worried that they were going to attack my judgment.
And with my non-Mormon friends.... well, that is a whole different story.
A lot of my friends like to drink socially. I never was much of a "drinker", so when I decided to join the Church, it was not an issue for me to just quit (and I don't think I had had a drink in like six months anyway).
About six months ago, I had mentioned to two of my closest friends that I was curious about the church and that I was considering investigating. One of my friends was really supportive. The other, who comes from a Pentecostal background, was not. I wanted to tell them because I wanted them to know; however, I feel like by sharing this information, I created a large divide between us. This is hard for me because I don't feel like I have changed. Yes, I try to live closer to God and be more reverent and prayerful and I read the Bible and the BOM more and I go to church more often.... but, I don't feel like any of these changes would affect an outward friendship. I am still having a hard time with the "Preach the Gospel" doctrine of the church because I don't want to force it down my friends' throats, so that is not an issue. I don't outwardly feel ashamed of my decision; however, I notice that I am being sneaky. Like when we have Institute classes, I am looking around to make sure nobody sees me before I dart into class. I really don't like acting like this! I guess I need to be strong and stick to my convictions and just let people know. Sure, some of them will probably see me really differently but I guess I shouldn't care. My relationship with my friends is not near as important as my relationship with God. I guess I just need to pray on it! :)